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Church Bloopers

“The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.”

– Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

– The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

– Evening massage – 6 p.m.

– The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

– Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door. Ushers will eat latecomers.

– The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

– The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”

– During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

– Due to the healing evangelist’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

– Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

– Potluck supper: Prayer and medication to follow.

– Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

– The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

– Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

*****

Oh I do love me some bloopers! 
Have an epic weekend!

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