Friday, July 10, 2015

Funnies

Cowboy Wisdom

•Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.
•Don’t squat with your spurs on.
•Don’t judge people by their relatives.
•Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town.
•Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
•Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none.
•Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
•It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
•Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothing when your mouth’s a-jawin’.
•Tellin’ a man to git lost and makin’ him do it are two entirely different propositions.
•If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.
•Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
•Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back.

*****

If you ask the cowboy in your life how true these are, he’ll tell you that they are, lol.  Open-mouthed smile 

Have an awesome weekend!

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Monday, July 6, 2015

Nature Monday

Another rainy Monday!  It’s starting to be a regular feature around here!  So, did you have a good Independence Day?  The kids and I got to see the fireworks at the local amusement park that we live near, so that was fun.  They had fireworks all 3 weekend nights.  My daughter was a feast for the local mosquito club though.  She has so many bites on her arms, the poor baby.  She probably has 20 bits on each arm.  I have a few bites around my eyes, which is weird and annoying, as well as my feet, and my son only has maybe 2 total.  Clearly my daughter was the pièce de résistance.

The garden is doing well this week, despite the near dehydration I accidentally put them through last week.  And I turned all my pots 180° so the rear sides could get some sunlight, too.  We’re holding steady at nearly halfway through the season, so I’m happy.  Smile

I think this one is my favorite pot this week – these lovely Celosia plants.  They’re very feathery.  In past years (that I’ve been container gardening, not when I had an in-ground garden) they’ve always shriveled up and died on me early on.  Turns out they prefer a dryer patch of dirt to live in, so I’ve been trying to accommodate them.  They seem to like it.  This pot is closer to the wall, as you can see, so it doesn’t get as much rain as the more outer pots.  My strategy is working, it seems!  There is another variety of Celosia that looks like a brain, I believe it’s called Cockscomb Celosia, but this type is a plume type.  They look like colorful candle flames to me. 
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So how’s your garden growing, or other hobby going, this week?

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Garden, Gardening

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Happy Independence Day!

Have a blessed

and safe

Independence Day!

Love, Vanessa

LET-FREEDOM-RING


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Holiday, Independence Day, July 4th

Friday, July 3, 2015

Funnies

What causes arthritis?

A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?”

“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.”

“Well, I’ll be…,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

“I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”

“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading that the Pope does.”

*****

HAHAHAHA!  Okay, this one got me good, had me actually laughing out loud in real life.  Open-mouthed smile

Just goes to show, it doesn’t pay to be judgy.  Winking smile

Have an awesome Independence Day weekend!

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Funnies

Actual 9-1-1 Calls

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

~~~~~

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

~~~~~

The Best for last::
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

*****

Okay, I get that people are under a lot of stress if they’re calling 9-1-1, but these are pretty funny.  I hope the outcomes were good for all!

Happy Independence Day weekend!

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Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Happy Canada Day!

To all my Canadian friends, I hope your day has been wonderful!

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1085 Canada


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Holiday, Canada Day