It’s a day, like any other. It’s 5 years to the day since my Beloved died. It’s a milestone, right? I called his parents. He didn’t speak to them for the last several years of his life, because … reasons. Reasons that don’t really matter anymore. He told me not to contact them but I did anyway. How could I not? They feel remorse, I forgave them, it’s okay now. I hurt for them because they’ve lost both their sons, they hurt for me because I no longer have a husband. We’re good. So I sent them a bunch of pictures of when their only granddaughter was a baby that they’ve never seen. I lit the candle that he dozed off to on the last night he was on earth, a candle I’d made, for Valentine’s Day, my last day as a wife, the last time he told me he loved me. I listened to a playlist I made of some of the songs we used to listen to when we fell in love. Life keeps moving forward, man keeps making his plans and God keeps laughing. I think I know what the next step is, but I’m never sure until it’s done. God has an incredible sense of humor. Not sure I’m laughing yet but … I trust Him.
~Nessa
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Dane, Grief, Memorials, Dane. Remembrance, Widow
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