| Isaiah 53:5-6“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”
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“A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
“The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’
“The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ‘Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’
“There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ‘OK, now what?’”
*****
I guess it’s good to be sure. 
Have a great weekend!
| Romans 6:23“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
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| You Are Pure Yellow |
 You are very alive and in bloom. You are always changing, growing, and inspiring those around you.You are the type of person who never shuts off. You constantly have things to do and people to see. You are very enthusiastic about everything, and you do a good job uplifting others. You have a sunny personality. |
Back in the woods, a redneck’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist. Since there was not electricity the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high to I can see what I’m doing.” Soon a baby boy was brought into the world.
“Whoa there,” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down … I think there’s another one to come.”
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, it seems there’s yet another one in there!” cried the doctor.
The new papa scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor, “Do you think it’s the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”
*****
Yes. The light. I’m sure that’s it! lol
Have a lovely weekend!
| Psalm 23:1-3“A psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”
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| Your Leprechaun Name Is: Weebit Forrekettle |
 Top of the mornin’ to ya, Patty! |
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand. “We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here.
Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.
“Can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.
“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”
“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun essayed.
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered. “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”
“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not ‘spinsters.’ They are married to God.”
“Wonderful,” said Smith. “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
*****
It’s great to have wealthy relatives, isn’t it? 
Have an epic weekend!
| 1 Peter 3:15“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,”
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| You Are A Hornbeam Tree |
 You are a reserved person, looking in from the outside. |
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, ‘If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.’
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, ‘Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!’
The woman said, ‘That’s okay.’
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, ‘You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to’.
The woman replied, ‘That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.’
So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, ‘That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.’
The woman said, ‘That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.’
So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, ‘I’d like a mild heart attack.’
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
*****
Ha! When I first heard this joke, it was about a woman and her ex, which might be more funny. 
Have an awesome weekend!
| Isaiah 55:8-9““For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
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| You Are Corona |
 You don’t drink for the love of beer. You drink to get drunk. |
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”
The engineer pondered for a moment and replied, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer inquired, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”
The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
The interviewer smiled and replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
*****
*snort* I think we’ve all known people like this at some point! lol
Have a wonderful weekend!
