Friday, February 19, 2016

Funnies

Lawyer Threatens to Sue Farmer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you’re not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer responded, “I am one of the best trial lawyers around and if you don’t let me get that duck I’ll sue you and take everything that you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in these parts. We settle small disagreements with the Three Kick Rule.” The lawyer, a bit intrigued asked, “What is the Three Kick Rule?” The farmer described the problem solving process as, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

The lawyer thought about the contest, sized up the farmer and thought he could take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly got down from his tractor and walked up to the city fella.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin which dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped his nose off his face. The lawyer was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but with didn’t.

Summoning every bit of his will the lawyer managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, now it’s my turn.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up, you can keep the duck!”

*****

HA!  I love it!  I’m sure more than a few of us can think of a lawyer or two we’d like to give a swift kick in the behind!  Winking smile

Have an epic weekend!

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