We erase mistakes. We delete irrelevant material. We edit out unimportant points.
But have you ever been erased by someone?
If you’ve ever spoken up and said, “That hurts. Please stop.” And the other person says, “I didn’t do anything! What is your problem? You are such a whiner.”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “I believe such and such.” And the other person says, “What a joke! Seriously? Are you stupid, or what? No thinking person believes that.”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “Could I do this or that?” And the other person says, “No. You can’t. I will decide what is best for you.”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “I’d like to buy this gift for so-and-so.” And the other person says, “They will HATE that gift. Why would you ever think anyone would like that?”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “Could you do this for me?” And the other person says, “Why would you ask such a thing? I always do that. Do you think I don’t? How ungrateful. I do and do for you – and you just take it all for granted.”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “I just can’t do this anymore.” And the other person says, “Why not? Am I supposed to do it, then? I’ve already got a lot on my plate. You expect an awful lot of me. I’m always picking up the pieces for you. Can’t you hold anything together?”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “I need help. Will someone listen?” And the other person says, “How do you know that what you think is happening, really is happening? You could be making assumptions. You could be exaggerating. You could be making a big deal out of nothing.”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “This bad thing happened to me.” And the other person says, “That happens to a lot of people. And what happened to you is nothing compared to what happens to others. Get over it.”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “This person keeps hurting me, and I don’t know how much more I can take.” And the other person says, “But you hurt them, too. Stop pointing the finger. Maybe if you’d stop bugging them, they’d stop hurting you.”
You’ve been erased.
If you’ve ever said, “I’m tired of being used and discarded.” And the other person says, “I’ve got some Bible verses for you. Memorize them and be happy.”
You’ve been erased.
When you mean nothing to someone or to a group of people, they will erase you the minute you try to appear with anything that demonstrates your realness and your humanity. Your existence as a person made in the image of God. To them, you are a non-person. You exist only to be consumed and abandoned.
When you are erased, you panic. You fight for oxygen. You may drop and curl up into an invisible ball. You may try to run away. You may stand and fight to be seen and heard. Or you may do all three at different times.
But when this happens, you instinctively know you are being attacked in the very core of your being. This is where the enemy wants to attack you. In your personhood. Because you image the enemy’s Arch Enemy, and he will stop at nothing to annihilate you.
I know what it’s like to be erased. To be erased by someone I tried for so long to trust, but also to be erased by an entire group of people caught up in “group-think.” Because that’s another way to get erased. Stand up in a group and say, “The emperor doesn’t have any clothes on!” They will hastily scramble to grab their erasers and do what they do best.
The enemy hates the truth. Really, it’s not so much YOU that must be erased. It’s the truth. And if you are speaking the truth, it must be erased by those who don’t want to see or hear it. When you are surrounded by unhealthy individuals who are unable to deal with the truth, it can make you unhealthy as well. That toxicity begins to seep into your soul, poisoning your mind and body. This is not God’s plan for your life. The book of Proverbs speaks over and over to how we need to view and deal with unhealthy people.
I recommend the book, Safe People by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. And when you’ve read that book, read Boundaries by the same authors. Read them in that order. They will change the way you look at this issue.
They will teach you how to handle Erasers.
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